Z for short.

"To write more, write more." Short posts just to keep my writing going.

“On Tears” Erased

leave a comment »

[erasure]

Today’s challenge is to erase whole chunks of words from a poem and leave the remaining words in their original position. I chose Jack Kerouac’s On Tears. After the erasure, a shorter tearful poem emerged.

 
ON TEARS

Tears
 

              in dark railyards
 
 
I wept to understand
         mortality
 
             Father father
Why hast thou forsaken me?
 
 
 
I want to be saved
 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 
 
Here’s the original:

 
        ON TEARS

        Tears is the break of my brow,
        The moony tempestuous
        Sitting down in dark railyards
        When to see my mother’s face
        Recalling from the waking vision
        I wept to understand
        The trap mortality
        And personal blood of earth
        Which saw me in—Father father
        Why hast thou forsaken me?
        Mortality & unpleasure
        Roam this city—
        Unhappiness my middle name
        I want to be saved,-
        Sunk—can’t be
        Won’t be
        Never was made—
        So retch!

 

Prompt: Take a poem and erase words and lines,
while maintaining the relative position of the remaining words.

About these ads

Written by Solveig H.

April 26, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Posted in NaPoWriMo 2013, Poems

Tagged with

What do YOU think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: