Z for short

"To write more, write more." This is my writing notepad.

“On Tears” Erased

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Today’s challenge is to erase whole chunks of words from a poem and leave the remaining words in their original position. I chose Jack Kerouac’s On Tears. After the erasure, a shorter tearful poem emerged.



              in dark railyards
I wept to understand
             Father father
Why hast thou forsaken me?
I want to be saved

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Here’s the original:

        ON TEARS

        Tears is the break of my brow,
        The moony tempestuous
        Sitting down in dark railyards
        When to see my mother’s face
        Recalling from the waking vision
        I wept to understand
        The trap mortality
        And personal blood of earth
        Which saw me in—Father father
        Why hast thou forsaken me?
        Mortality & unpleasure
        Roam this city—
        Unhappiness my middle name
        I want to be saved,-
        Sunk—can’t be
        Won’t be
        Never was made—
        So retch!


Prompt: Take a poem and erase words and lines,
while maintaining the relative position of the remaining words.


Written by Solveig Hansen

April 26, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Posted in NaPoWriMo 2013, Poems

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